Logging Off

From bestselling author Nick Spalding comes a laugh-out-loud story about getting offline—and getting on with life.

Andy Bellows is in a right state. Plagued with insomnia, anxiety and neckache, he’s convinced there’s something seriously wrong with him. And the worst thing is that his doctor agrees. The diagnosis: Andy is in the grip of a self-destructive addiction to technology—he just cannot put that bloody mobile phone down.

Texting, tweeting, gaming and online dating—technology rules Andy’s life. His phone even monitors his bowel movements. So how will he cope when he’s forced to follow doctor’s orders and step away from all of his beloved screens?

From having to leave the flat in search of food like some kind of Neanderthal to engaging in conversations with actual people, Andy’s about to discover just how bewildering—and scary—the analogue world can be.

And when his sixty-day detox hits the headlines—making him a hero to suffering technophiles everywhere—Andy is sorely tempted to pack it all in and escape in the nearest Uber.

Can he get himself out of this mess, and work out how to live a better, technologically balanced life…without consulting Google even once?

DUMPED ACTUALLY

From the bestselling author of Checking Out and Dry Hard comes a hilarious story about losing the love of your life, and finding yourself in the aftermath.

When Ollie Sweet is very publicly dumped by ‘The One’, his seemingly perfect world dissolves into misery, self-pity, and a bizarre rooftop meeting with a suicidal man in flip-flops. While most would seek out the support of loved ones at such a torrid time, natural-born journalist Ollie asks the subscribers of his website: how did they get over their failed relationships?

When Ollie follows some of their more extreme advice, chaos inevitably ensues, including accidentally exposing himself to some unsuspecting wildlife, jumping out of a perfectly serviceable aeroplane, and suffering from an extremely painful bottom, courtesy of a maniacal Scotsman.

Of course, all of this goes down a storm with his online following, and Ollie soon finds himself the centre of everyone’s attention – whether he likes it or not!

With his eclectic collection of supporters to guide him, can Ollie mend his broken heart, heal his broken bottom, and learn to find happiness again?

DRY HARD

From the bestselling author of Fat Chance and Checking Out comes a hilarious story about giving up… but definitely not giving in.

Kate and Scott’s marriage has always been a lot of fun, with alcohol at the heart of it. After all, what’s more entertaining than a good laugh and a large drink… or six?

But recently, those relaxing drinks have become more crutch than comfort—and the couple have almost forgotten how to talk to each other sober.

Then their teenage daughter Holly uploads a video of their humiliating drunken escapades, which gets picked up by YouTube superstar PinkyPud—and goes horrifyingly viral.

In a last-ditch attempt to prove to the world they’re more than just boozy idiots, Kate and Scott quit alcohol completely. But with Holly’s… er… ‘help’, what begins as a family promise soon escalates into a social media phenomenon: #DryHard!

With the eyes of the Internet upon them, can Kate and Scott stay teetotal—and save their marriage in the process?

CHECKING OUT

What do you do when the doctor says you could die at any moment? Well…after you’ve made a cup of tea, of course.

Nathan James is young, successful and has the world at his feet. Unfortunately, he’s also about to die—which ruins things somewhat. And now he’s staring imminent death in the face, Nathan is having to rethink some of his life choices very hard.

This means embarking on a hectic journey of self-discovery that includes, amongst other things, losing his dignity to an inescapable bean bag, suffering screaming nightmares about a monstrous potato, and getting up close and very personal with a bipolar donkey.

All of which is fine, but then Nathan falls in love with a charming girl called Alison, which is a really stupid thing to do. Because how can you give your heart to someone when it might be about to stop?

From Nick Spalding, the bestselling author of Fat Chance, Bricking It and Mad Love, comes a comedy about dying—which is easy—and living, which is most certainly not.

MAD LOVE

Can two people who have never met make a marriage work? Popular dating site Sociality thinks so, and is marrying London lad Adam to California girl Jessica to prove it.

What better way to show that your ‘love algorithms’ work than to put two complete strangers together in an expensive publicity stunt? But, as livewire Jess and lazybones Adam quickly discover, just because a computer says you’re the perfect match, it doesn’t make it so!

Two million Sociality subscribers and the media are following the happy couple’s progress, and they have to make a go of it or they’ll lose everything, look like idiots, and destroy Sociality’s reputation. But can the mismatched pair, who seem to be constantly at each other’s throats, put their differences aside and work their way into each other’s hearts?

Nick Spalding, bestselling author of Fat Chance and Bricking It, will make you cry with laughter at this story of marital warfare—complete with sinking boats, badly aimed flatulence, well aimed tennis balls and some very suggestive pastry.

BRICKING IT

When siblings Dan and Hayley Daley inherit their late grandmother’s derelict Victorian farmhouse, it seems like a dream come true. All they have to do is fix the place up and sell it for a tidy profit!

Except—as anyone who has renovated an old house knows—things are never that easy.

The walls are rapidly crumbling around them, the architect is a certified lunatic, the budget is spiraling…and then there’s the disturbingly intelligent cow to worry about.

On top of all this, the renovation is being featured on a daytime reality TV show, and as soon as Great Locations presenter Gerard O’Keefe catches sight of Hayley’s first-floor balcony, he’s determined to woo her out of her ban on romance, whether she wants him to or not.

Will Dan and Hayley survive and sell up? Or will the whole thing collapse on them like a ton of bricks?

From bestselling author Nick Spalding comes a hilarious tale of life, love and dodgy plumbing.

FAT CHANCE

Meet Zoe and Greg Milton, a married couple who have let themselves go a bit.

Zoe was a stunner in her college days, but the intervening decades have added five stone, and removed most of her self-esteem. Greg's rugby-playing days are well and truly behind him, thanks to countless pints of beer and chicken curry.

When Elise, a radio DJ and Zoe's best friend, tells them about a new competition, it seems like the perfect opportunity to turn their lives around. Fat Chance will pit six hefty couples against one another to see who can collectively lose the most weight and walk away with a £50,000 prize.

So begins six months of abject misery, tears, and frustration—that just might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to them—in another laugh-out-loud look at the way we live now from bestselling author Nick Spalding.

LOVE FROM BOTH SIDES

Sometimes, the hardest part of finding love is keeping a straight face...


For Jamie Newman, being a single guy isn't proving to be much fun, especially when confronted with a sexually belligerent divorcee and a goddess so far out of his league she might as well be a different species.

Mind you, being a girl in search of love isn't a bowl of cherries either. Just ask Laura McIntyre, who's recently contended with a horny estate agent on a quest for light relief and a rabid mountain bike enthusiast with a penchant for lycra that leaves little to the imagination.

When Jamie and Laura bump into one another (quite literally) it looks like their luck may have changed - but sometimes finding the right person is only the start of your problems...

Love... From Both Sides is a warts-and-all romantic comedy for everyone who knows how tricky the quest for love can be.

LOVE AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

Sometimes, the hardest part of becoming a parent is keeping a straight face... 


Just ask Jamie and Laura Newman, who (thanks to a rather relaxed attitude to contraception) find themselves about to have a baby. It's obviously a terrifying prospect for a newly married couple, but as long as they stick together they'll be just fine... right?

They'd better because the path between falling in love and those first few baby steps is littered with obstacles. Featuring a hilarious cast of characters including an overbearing mother-in-law, a terrifying midwife and at least one chorus of mating humpback whales, Love... And Sleepless Nights is the hilarious follow up novel all about what happens beyond the happy ever after.

Falling in love is easy... starting a family is far from it!

LOVE UNDER DIFFERENT SKIES

Sometimes, the hardest part of staying together is keeping a straight face...

Ever wish you could leave all your problems behind and make a fresh start somewhere else? Trade the stresses and strains of everyday life for your own slice of sun-kissed paradise on the other side of the world?

Jamie and Laura Newman certainly have.

When Jamie's spectacular meltdown at work results in him being handed his P45, and Laura finds her working days end up with her rugby tackling defenceless pensioners in the high street, a move ten thousand miles away sounds ideal. After all, it might mend some of the cracks that have appeared in their marriage over the past few months...

So when Laura is offered a new job in Australia, the Newman family think their dreams have come true. But as the old saying goes - be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. As the hapless couple soon find out, problems have a way of following you, no matter how far you go to avoid them.

Can love survive under different skies?

LOVE AMONG THE STARS

Sometimes, the hardest part of becoming a success is keeping a straight face...

Jamie & Laura Newman have recently become quite the successful - and mildly wealthy - couple, thanks to the fact they've managed to write a series of popular romantic comedies together. This has come as a complete surprise to the hapless pair, and is - needless to say - a turn of events neither is in the slightest bit equipped to deal with.

They get invited to posh events where they feel endlessly out of place, have long lost relatives turn up out of the blue, raise an aspiring diva for a daughter, and go on holiday to exotic places they really have no place being. It's enough to make anyone crawl under the nearest rock.

If you're Jamie, you also get to turn 40 - and there's not a damn thing he can do to stop it. As for Laura, well let's say that just because you can afford to purchase expensive beauty products, it doesn't necessarily mean that you should.

LOVE... AMONG THE STARS is the fourth book by Nick Spalding about Jamie & Laura, and is full of the warts-and-all, laugh out loud comedy you've come to know and love.

BLUE CHRISTMAS BALLS

A laugh out loud seasonal novella from Nick Spalding, the bestselling author of the smash hit comedies Fat Chance & Love... From Both Sides.

One man. Three women. Twelve days to achieve Yuletide sexual glory!

Christmas is coming and Matt Bunion is on a mission. Somehow, he's made the huge mistake of remaining a virgin well into his twenties - a grievous error he fully intends to rectify before the Queen's speech starts.

But it's not going to be easy...

What with strange requests to molest living room furniture, painfully inserted action figures, and an extremely festive lady of the night, Matt will be lucky to reach Boxing Day with his pride and manhood still intact.

From the best-selling author of FAT CHANCE & LOVE... FROM BOTH SIDES comes the laugh-out-loud story of one man's quest to make this Christmas go with a bang.

BUZZING EASTER BUNNIES

The sequel to BLUE CHRISTMAS BALLS from Nick Spalding, the bestselling author of the smash hit comedies Fat Chance & Love... From Both Sides.

Every story needs a decent climax...

There are plenty of things Christina Barclay would like to do before she hits thirty at Easter. Having an orgasm with somebody else in the room is most definitely one of them.

Up to now, her love life has been sorely lacking in the toe-curling department - but luckily for Christina, she's just started dating Matthew Adrian Bunion, a man whose bedroom inexperience is more than made up for by his never-ending enthusiasm. Mr Bunion will not rest until his new girlfriend is satisfied - no matter what the cost in rechargeable batteries, physical injury or public embarrassment.

From the best-selling author of BLUE CHRISTMAS BALLS, FAT CHANCE and LOVE... FROM BOTH SIDES, this is the story of one woman and one man on an epic quest to come together, and celebrate an Easter birthday in style.

LIFE WITH NO BREAKS

This is the very first book from Nick Spalding (AND BOY DOES IT SHOW), the bestselling author of the smash hit comedies Fat Chance & Love... From Both Sides.

Nick Spalding tried to write a book in 24 hours. Turns out that's impossible... it took 30!

Life... With No Breaks is a unique, hilarious and heartfelt look at the modern world we live in, told by a master story-teller with much to say - and only a weekend to say it in.

You'll laugh out loud reading Nick's odyssey of non-stop writing in a collection of anecdotes, asides and stories (admittedly featuring more fabrication and embellishment than a politician's expenses claim) - all dredged up from an over-stimulated brain functioning on caffeine, nicotine and the occasional chocolate biscuit.

The book is a conversation with you, and with Nick you'll venture into the thorny topics of love, life, sex, horribly timed bowel movements and a deathly fear of sponges (among many other things).

After you've read Life... With No Breaks, you may never look at the world the same way again!

LIFE ON A HIGH

This is the second book from Nick Spalding (STILL SHOWS), the bestselling author of the smash hit comedies Fat Chance & Love... From Both Sides.

Nick Spalding is back... and this time he's airborne!

By popular demand (and because those counselling sessions won't pay for themselves) Nick returns in the sequel to Life... With No Breaks - with a new collection of larger-than-life and horrifically exaggerated anecdotes, stories and asides.

This time he's writing at 40,000 feet... and what better way is there to kill forty eight hours on a round trip to Australia than holding another conversation with you?

Sit back - don't worry, we're in Business Class so the seats are comfortable - put your feet up, and laugh out loud as Nick wends his merry way through a plethora of subjects, including age, hobbies, crime, dating the wrong women and pretending to be a banana (among many other things).

After you've read Life... On A High, you may never look at the rest of the world the same way again!

THE CORNERSTONE

A fast-paced fantasy adventure from Nick Spalding, the bestselling author of the smash hit comedies Fat Chance, Bricking It and Love From Both Sides.

A great book will transport you to another world... literally, if you're not careful.

On a gloomy Thursday afternoon, Max Bloom enters his local library in a last ditch attempt to stave off an epic case of teenage boredom. Among the hushed stacks he discovers The Cornerstone, an ancient book tucked away on a dusty, forgotten shelf. Opening the cover, Max is instantly transported to an alternate dimension full of things intent on killing him - thus avoiding boredom with remarkable success.

He meets a beautiful girl called Merelie (brilliant), who tells him he could be a Wordsmith, a sorcerer able to craft magic from the written word itself, one strong enough to save both their worlds from the Dwellers - hideous monsters from beyond the universe (not so brilliant).

This all sounds completely unbelievable. The kind of thing you'd read in a fantasy novel. But The Cornerstone doesn't lie... and the danger is very real.

In a world threatened by monsters, where books are worshipped and powerful magic exists, Max Bloom must make a choice: close The Cornerstone and run home - or trust Merelie, become a Wordsmith, and save two worlds from certain destruction...

WORDSMITH

The fast-paced fantasy sequel to The Cornerstone, by the bestselling author of the smash hit comedies Fat Chance, Bricking It & Love... From Both Sides.

From the pages of the past, a new threat to Max Bloom rises in The Chapter Lands...

A year after his life became a lot less boring (and a lot more dangerous, if he's being honest) Max Bloom finds himself the unwanted centre of attention at the spectacular Chapter Lands Wordmeet, a magical competition laid on in his honour - whether he likes it or not. This unfortunately means having to wear an uncomfortable suit and talk politely to other people; two things that Max does not excel at.

Events take a grave turn however, when the Wordmeet is gate-crashed by a man with murder in his heart and revenge on his mind. He kills an innocent boy and threatens Merelie's life before Max manages to intervene.

Who is this interloper? What does he want? Why is he so intent on killing? Only The Cornerstone can provide the answers, and on its pages it reveals a single name... Venhaligan.

From the strange and magical Chapter Lands, to the familiar surroundings of Farefield, Max must pursue this madman across dimensions using The Cornerstone. He must prevent more innocent people getting hurt, as well as uncover the truth about his past before it kills him.

Wordsmith... The Cornerstone Book 2 continues the thrilling story of Max Bloom's adventures in The Chapter Lands - with twists, turns and excitement throughout!

​FOLLOW ME

  • Facebook Social Icon
  • Twitter Social Icon
  • YouTube Social  Icon
  • Instagram

© 2023 by Samanta Jones. Proudly created with Wix.com